Well, in texting communication anyway...
I've never been a big "texter". I had to quote that, because spell check underlined it, therefore it is not yet an accepted word by the dictionary used here. Anyway, phone calls were more personal, more efficient, and well, I guess I just didn't "get" texting. It did serve a functional purpose in conveying information when unable to use the phone or only a quick answer was needed. Hmm... I sound like a guy here.
So awhile back, two of my friends, who are not friends with each other, were both with me at happy hour. Good times, right?! Hey, let's all be friends together, right?! Except, the discovery is made that apparently they both have issues with my lack of smiley faces and emoticons in my texts. What?! I inquire further, and apparently, saying "Sure" or "OK" without a smiley or exclamation mark has made them worry I am mad or unpleased or some other similar feeling here. I am still confused at this point.
Consider the following conversations:
Happy hour? "Sure"
Can we meet at 5 instead of 4:30? "OK"
Sorry, have to cancel. Raincheck? "OK"
Yes, I wasn't a big emoticon person. In fact, I nicknamed a guy I dated shortly a few years back, "Smileyface guy", because of his incessant emoticon use; I was frankly annoyed by it. Is it not OK to answer a simple yes/no question without an emoticon, because without, one might doubt your intentions or general feelings toward the subject or person in question? Are people really as passive-aggressive in their communication to leave out a smiley face rather than say perhaps, "No, that's not OK."? Or, are we so used to them, that in the absence, we assume the person on the other side of texting isn't perfectly content?
My friends have been worried that I'm upset when I respond this way, and that I might be angry at them. Really? I think you would know. I WOULD USE CAPITALS TO SAY, "I'M MAD AT YOU, (EXPLETIVE)".
They bonded over it (happy face); they also both agreed that they were used to it and "accepted" it as my texting style. OK. But now I feel deficient at texting. (Insert sad face here) I'm sorry, but when did communication get so complicated?! I thought texting was supposed to simplify it.
Anyway, needless to say, I'm now hypersensitive and anxious about when to use these winking, tongue sticking out, laughing dudes that appear on my phone. I am now very carefully including these in my texts, although I once used a wink inappropriately (apparently), and that led nowhere good...
What's worse is that I've realized when you do have regular back and forth conversations via text with someone who regularly uses these, along with "lol" (AKA a "texting pattern"), you do notice when the emoticons aren't there! =( AHH! You do wonder why! =-[ Why is this person no longer happy to be talking to me? What did I do? :'(
Lesson learned: if you're happy, sarcastic, joking, teasing, informing, describing, inquiring, wondering, suggesting, correcting, commenting, etc., it's best to use a happy, winking, or tongue out emoticon. This is a good way to keep your friends.... ;) Or at least, keep them texting with you... =P
Note: It is also desirable to use a sad emoticon to convey sympathy, concern, or disappointment (with an outcome, not the person). Otherwise, the tone inferred may not be the one implied... and you could come across as uncaring, apathetic, or downright callous =( J/K (kinda) =)
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