When did the =) become so crucial to human communication?

Well, in texting communication anyway...

I've never been a big "texter". I had to quote that, because spell check underlined it, therefore it is not yet an accepted word by the dictionary used here. Anyway, phone calls were more personal, more efficient, and well, I guess I just didn't "get" texting. It did serve a functional purpose in conveying information when unable to use the phone or only a quick answer was needed. Hmm... I sound like a guy here.

So awhile back, two of my friends, who are not friends with each other, were both with me at happy hour. Good times, right?! Hey, let's all be friends together, right?! Except, the discovery is made that apparently they both have issues with my lack of smiley faces and emoticons in my texts.  What?! I inquire further, and apparently, saying "Sure" or "OK" without a smiley or exclamation mark has made them worry I am mad or unpleased or some other similar feeling here.  I am still confused at this point.

Consider the following conversations:

Happy hour? "Sure"
Can we meet at 5 instead of 4:30? "OK"
Sorry, have to cancel. Raincheck? "OK"

Yes, I wasn't a big emoticon person. In fact, I nicknamed a guy I dated shortly a few years back, "Smileyface guy",  because of his incessant emoticon use; I was frankly annoyed by it. Is it not OK to answer a simple yes/no question without an emoticon, because without, one might doubt your intentions or general feelings toward the subject or person in question? Are people really as passive-aggressive in their communication to leave out a smiley face rather than say perhaps, "No, that's not OK."?  Or, are we so used to them, that in the absence, we assume the person on the other side of texting isn't perfectly content?
My friends have been worried that I'm upset when I respond this way, and that I might be angry at them. Really? I think you would know. I WOULD USE CAPITALS TO SAY, "I'M MAD AT YOU, (EXPLETIVE)".

They bonded over it (happy face); they also both agreed that they were used to it and "accepted" it as my texting style. OK. But now I feel deficient at texting. (Insert sad face here)  I'm sorry, but when did communication get so complicated?! I thought texting was supposed to simplify it.

Anyway, needless to say, I'm now hypersensitive and anxious about when to use these winking, tongue sticking out, laughing dudes that appear on my phone. I am now very carefully including these in my texts, although I once used a wink inappropriately (apparently), and that led nowhere good...

What's worse is that I've realized when you do have regular back and forth conversations via text with someone who regularly uses these, along with "lol" (AKA a "texting pattern"), you do notice when the emoticons aren't there! =( AHH! You do wonder why!  =-[ Why is this person no longer happy to be talking to me? What did I do? :'(

Lesson learned: if you're happy, sarcastic, joking, teasing,  informing, describing, inquiring, wondering, suggesting, correcting, commenting, etc., it's best to use a happy, winking, or tongue out emoticon. This is a good way to keep your friends....  ;) Or at least, keep them texting with you... =P

Note: It is also desirable to use a sad emoticon to convey sympathy, concern, or disappointment (with an outcome, not the person). Otherwise, the tone inferred may not be the one implied... and you could come across as uncaring, apathetic, or downright callous  =(    J/K (kinda) =)

If I forget about food I've cooked, does that mean I'm not hungry?

Or, does this mean I'm ADD?

And... if I'm not hungry, should I not eat it?

Is this something other people do?

Yesterday, my roommate from the kitchen asked, "Uh, were you making toast?" Another thing she could have said: "There's a piece of toast here... it looks kind of old and dried out, and I'm not sure what do with it." Now I'm pretty sure it was from earlier that morning, but had she not wanted to make toast at around 5 last night, I don't know when I would have discovered it. Following further incident today, this makes me believe I did not need that piece of toast.

BTW, in the interest of "waste-not", I tried re-toasting it and it didn't work. Gross-ness.

Today, it happened again.  I'm at my computer, half paying attention to "Friends" on DVD when I'm distracted by beeping.... not the beeping signaling the microwave is done cooking, but the beeping that signals you haven't opened the door and removed the food you were cooking. My beeping-induced confusion was quickly replaced by the memory that I had placed a cup-of-noodle type soup thing only minutes before. (I know this only because the soup was still hot. Otherwise, the elapsed time would be in question.) Upon retrieving my soup, I was immediately reminded of the toast incident from the day before. Obviously, I cook food when I'm not hungry enough to go back and get it, or even know immediately why it is the microwave is beeping at me.

I am, however, consoled by the fact that there is a beeping reminder function on the microwave. Someone must have thought this would be useful and keep people from forgetting about and potentially wasting food. Some might argue, this is most likely to serve people cooking multiple items at a time for an actual sit-down type dinner, but for now I choose to believe it's for the very busy person doing many important things at a time like myself.

Why won't anyone use a semi-colon? It's such an awesome punctuation mark!

Other recent questions I've asked myself:

1. Should I be concerned by my recent liking of Kelly Clarkson?

2 . How long will this "battery switch" dance between remotes go on before someone breaks down and buys batteries? Or alternatively, look for the lost battery under the couch?

3. Is it more socially acceptable to wear pajamas to the grocery store if it's 11:30 at night, and you're purchasing sleep aid pills?

4. Who wears a dress to preschool?!

5. What is an appropriate replacement behavior for wanting to chuck things at people?


Answers (if applicable):

1. Probably... Not that I have an issue with Kelly Clarkson or her songs. I just noticed one day that I turned up the radio, and began singing my heart out to the chorus of "Stronger", rather than changing the station like I once would have. The fact I knew the lyrics (well actually just the chorus) so well, indicates that it's not the first time I've left it on vs. searching for a different song. That I'm gravitating towards a song with lyrics that state, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger", indicates that I need a certain motivation that Kelly Clarkson inspires.

2. The answer is about a week and a half;  I couldn't handle it anymore.

3. Who knows? I just know I'm less likely to care at 11:30 P.M., when I've already awoken from sleep, and I have work the next day. Snowflake pajama bottoms in September in Arizona seem perfectly appropriate. Maybe lack of caring is the key to happiness; if you don't care, it doesn't matter. If it doesn't matter, it's "peachy".

4. Rhetorical question/ranting actually. Special Ed. preschool is not the place to wear a short dress as teaching adult (that is, if you're going to interact with children). When there's a child in the middle of circle throwing a tantrum, I feel I shouldn't be the one to "get" to "help" (aka DEAL with) her, because of the sole fact that I am wearing pants (oh, and that I'm physically able). I'm not saying I'm not willing to do it... I'm just saying it seems like a "taking turns" kind of job. We promote that skill in preschool. This is a question I asked aloud to a few people in addition to myself; each of them knew not to answer, but nod sympathetically.

5. Chuck (unbreakable and worthless) things at inanimate (also unbreakable and worthless) things. Note: Doing this in private is best; otherwise, people might question your sanity.

OH... I'm perplexed by the number of run-on sentences on Facebook. I get shorthand text messages (kind of*), however people appear to abandon punctuation on FB, whether stating they're at Starbucks/gym/bar, expressing their political opinions or sharing stories.  The comma is quite commonly used, but inappropriately, where in fact, a period is needed. I have a solution! Use a semi-colon; it's a great way to link two sentences together!

*I still won't abbreviate "you" as "U", and I still generally punctuate in texts, but get lax on capitalization. I'm tolerating these trends quite well from others now. =)

Hmm... my mental health isn't portrayed in this post well. That said...

DISCLAIMER: Everything read here should not be taken seriously. You shouldn't pay attention to anything I say, except of course, regarding the semi-colon; it really is a great punctuation mark.